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Electrikblu702
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Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Scranton
Birthday: 8/5/1981
Gender: Male
Interests: Everything and anything. I try to bring a good time with me wherever I go. 
Expertise: I'd like to say life. People seem to come to me when they need help with something, so I guess it's an area of expertise. Need something? let me kno if I can help!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
2/25/2003
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| "You put him on a chair and say he's great
and you get right down to the god you made
you keep him up there so he can save you
and you kick him out the very next day..."
There comes a point in everyone's lives where we are confronted with an image or idea that challenges our views on people in our lives. I, at least, am so quick to build up glorified notions of people which seem so unshakably true, but then you gather a single piece of information that nearly makes it crumble to the ground. Yet again I am grappling with this situation wondering if this pristine pedastal I have placed him on is really justified, and at the same time, feeling terrified that perhaps yet again, I'm just deluding myself in order to feign normalcy.
In all honesty, how much of life is real? I mean, from our vantage point, it all seems real, but we exist at a point where our point of view intersects with reality (which is really just a commonly-accepted point of reference, btw.), and the PoV's of those around us. Eventually our glass houses (which we all live in, no matter what anyone says) are going to crumble, whether it be because of a serious event like death, or something seemingly trivial, but much more devious: like finding out that someone really isn't the person you've thought them to be. Death, as difficult as it is to cope with, has a finality attached to it. It's over, done with, and now we're left to deal with the aftermath. Little things such as the latter nibble away at our last nerves, taunting us and getting right in our faces, and seem so difficult to deal with. Is it truth? Is it just a conflict of vantage points? Can this sense of betrayal that is often associated with it be overlooked or perhaps even dispelled? Like coping with death, only time will make this better. After all, it is a kind of death: a death of idealization.
In time, all things pass. In time, everything will be brought to light..
>S< | | |
| Another day... Just Breathe.
As of this weekend, I have shed my shackles that held me to The Gap,
thank god! I feel as though a completely new life is beginning
for me, one without stress, and (hopefully) more money. It's odd
how one small change such as that can change one's outlook on
life. I just wish that change of outlook would take me to Hawaii,
like Richie, who leaves tomorrow for vacation. :: Sigh :: 
Gonna be a tough couple weeks without my partner in crime to get into
trouble with. Just gotta hope for safe travel and safe return.
On another, more irritating note, I hate how some people are completely
lacking in the social grace department. I mean, conversation
involves two-way communication, right? Why do some people just
assume that their experiences are so much more valid than your
own...and how can they be so completely clueless that their arrogance
and extremely SWELLED HEAD is the reason their friends aren't around
anymore? I mean, I don't want to be friends with someone who sees
me as an audience to bask in his grandeur. I'm a man-sized mirror
in which he adores himself in. And honestly, I don't see much to
adore. Attractive? nah, just kinda 'meh'. Fun to be around?
Not really, not unless all you want to hear about is his life and how
he's whoring about with this one or that one. (btw, rampant sex
doesn't mean you're attractive. It doesn't mean you're all that
and a bag of lays. You're just a bag of lays. period.
Really.) "I'm sorry I totally ignored you guys all night, I was
too busy setting up my dates for the next six weeks" -- HA!
Sounds like someone's suffering from an inability to stand on one's own
two feet, and uses sex as an ego boost. Actually, I may not be a
psychologist, but it truly sounds like someone's suffering from a
textbook case of narcissism. It's a shame that I have to cut
people like that out of my life. ::sarcasm: such a crying
shame. ::sarcasm off :: Sorry for the rant, that's been
building up for a while. 
>S<
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| Lots of snow. All day, still snowing now. But, I got a new
job! No more Gap for me. After this week coming, I'll be
working at Eddie Bauer alongside Mark, the man responsible for me
leaving Old Navy for Gap, and now, EB. It's going to be a major
stress reduction, while still getting the hours I need. No more
11-12 o'clock nights, I should be out by 9:30 when closing, and I may
even get the job of keyholder. (keep your fingers crossed)
In the romance department, things still stagnate. Still utterly
confused, but what else is new? It's not really that big of a
deal.
Gotta sleep, may have to brave the elements for work in the morning
>S<
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| Holy snow!! I was running late for class today (up too late...). As such, I decided to get my haircut instead. Luckily, being late saved me from having to brave the snowstorm that had developed while the stylist took her time primping me. Afterwards, I ended up at Denny's with Mandi, bitching about current boy/girl problems, and sharing the requisite laughs that Mandi brings to any conversation. (fuckin' wolves, c'mon). Denny's came and went, the snow fell and fell, and I carefully made my way home. Finally caught The Village (M. Night Shamylan is a genius, by the way... everyone should see that film). Boredom set in, and I braved the elements to head up to Mike and Brad's for the night, which is where I am now. Just another day in the life, I suppose
>S<
P.S BT = DQ | | |
| After many trials and tribulations, this May will mark my official
entrance into the "grown up world". Graduation's a mere five
months away, and now i'm starting to panic. Why? Because I
need to find a job in my field. I don't want to end up trapped in
this part-time hell known as "retail'. I will not allow myself to
become a retail whore.
Seeing my manager in her ugliest (oftentimes I refer to her as "The
Troll", or alternatively, "The Destroyer") makes me all the more
eager to leave the trap behind. The Troll seems to revel in
playing games with our lives, giving out schedules that fit the
business's needs, yet are against the availability contract we
sign. And if we really can't, she just threatens us with our
job. One such instance involved an overnight where we make room
for new merchandise. A small handful of us (all college students)
find it feasible that we can work until three in the morning, but on
this evening, it didn't go well, and things weren't complete. She
told our manager over the phone after our shift was coming to a close
that we had to stay until the job is complete, even if it meant until
she came in the next morning at seven. Of course we could leave,
she said, but we shouldn't bother coming back. Such belittling
and threats are against corporate policy and procedures, and the only
way I felt comfortable to fight it was to call our (confidential) human
resource hotline. In response to the call, someone let the
hairpin drop that I was guilty, and I was confronted about it.
What do you say when your manager basically says "I know you told on
me"? Staying with the company for three years has given me great pay,
and it wasn't until she arrived on the scene in August that things
begian to go sour. Of course, district management is required to
follow up on all calls, but the sneaky Troll just said "I would never
do that" and the report was just filed away. What use is having a
means to have your voice heard when your voice (along with the
half-dozen others who have done the same) are just lost because she
said "Not me!"? Individuals such as these single-handedly
create a hostile working environment, and complain when they can't
retain their workers more than a month or so at best.
Let me out of this mess. I don't need the frustration.
Hopefully I can find another job and leave this store behind... and
hopefully I can leave the retail industry behind come May.
>S<
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